


In which four children play god

by Meteors



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Baseball bats with nails in them, Little Gods, Post-Scratch, SBURB
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-17
Updated: 2011-09-18
Packaged: 2017-10-21 12:04:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/224981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meteors/pseuds/Meteors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four children from a session which would not yield fruit were given a second a chance. This time, everything fell into place. No Jack Noir, Tumor, no unnecessary deaths. As the four creators of the new universe went to claim their prize, SBURB played one final, cruel trick upon them.</p><p>In order for John, Dave, Rose, and Jade to earn their new universe, they must prove themselves in one final test. It is their duty as gods to create a new world that will prove them to be worthy of cultivating the universe they have been teased with for so long.</p><p>Things do not go as planned.</p><p>(feat. artwork by Kerez)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming to terms with being a god

**Author's Note:**

> I usually try to not write two works at once, but seeing as the other is a short, silly piece that's almost done, I felt I could get at least this chapter up.
> 
> This is my first time writing something with a concrete, serious plot. That's not to say there won't be jokes and funny stuff abound (implying I'm funny), but they're not the centerpiece.
> 
> Four original characters will also be the focal point for a while, but if you look close enough (or in some cases, just look), one can see exactly who or what they represent. I tried to make them unique enough to expand on and make this story about the kids interesting without messing with unestablished canon too much as far as the original four go.
> 
> tl;dr  
> lots of stuff is happening on the canon character and original character front

Everything that had happened before was simply a blur at this point. The death of his father, at this point, was also nothing more than a blur. Ever since defeating the Black King, the final enemy of a session that hadn't been plagued by omnipotent maniacs, trolls, or the insidious tentacles of the Horrorterrors, everything had become one restless, horrible dream. Fleetingly, the boy recalled the joy he had experienced upon dealing one closing blow to the tyrant. For a moment he remembered hugging all four of his friends and just crying happily. These hazy memories caused him to feel renewed, but soon he was cut down once again. How could he recall all of those wonderful things without remembering the carpet being pulled out from beneath him upon "claiming" The Prize?

Feeling fourteen sets of eyes upon him once again, the boy who was forced to become a man long before he should, shook his head. His mouth was dry and for a moment his entire body felt as if it was going to cave in on itself like a poorly constructed house of cards. If this had been any other time in his short life, he would have recalled his third grade piano recital and how nervous he felt playing in front of what seemed like a million judging eyes. Instead of this however, he went off into a part of his thoughts that he rarely strayed. For a brief moment he this was how a god was supposed to feel.

With a deep breath, the boy who now looked like a man began breaking the news to the creations he helped instill with life. He felt weak as the words left his lips, but to everyone else, the phrases were strong and confidant. That's what a leader did after all. He looked strong in the face of a challenge. He tapped into some hidden reserve of strength brought to him by the bond he shared with his friends, and he did what had to be done. Still, by this point in the game, they knew exactly how he was feeling, especially after he had said what he had just said.

The words hung in the air like a horrible stench. There was no way to dance around them for either party. For a moment the gods all looked at each other, and then turned back to their creations. They looked almost as distraught as the ones who had forged them. One of them, a girl wielding what could have been the Royal Deringer, dropped to her knees and began to breathe heavily. All but one of the other children went to her aid and began to comfort her. Their eyes were as glazed and fearful as hers, but they had to remain strong for her sake. They leaned her up against the wall of the old temple and another member of the quartet held her as she sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

The man who had said the horrible words but his lip as the attention was drawn to the sobbing child. He wanted to run over to her and break down with her, but that wasn't a leader's job when he had more pressing issues to deal with. He needed an answer. Then he could cry along with them, not that either of the two choices he had presented would have made him feel any better. Someone had to lose either with a yes or a no.

The child who stood before them who had not rushed to the aid of his comrade gripped the sickle in his hand, an obvious homage to a friend the four had to leave behind upon getting their second chance. The child acted with what the man felt was more conviction than he.  He shook his head violently and threw  accusatory fingers around the room. The fear and madness in his voice were apparent, but he was their leader, he had to suppress it. After his speech, he rallied his only three friends in the world and they all drew their weapons.

The destined four had made their decision.

One of the gods, one that always seemed to calm and collected, nearly fell to the ground. It was a rare moment of weakness for her. It bit into the leader's heart like a horrible serpent. He always viewed her as the strongest, most intelligent one of them. The way she talked before indicated that she had fully accepted both consequences, but the thought of actually having to _this_ to her creation had apparently never crossed her mind.

The leader of the gods tried to be diplomatic, he honestly tried. They all tried. They tried sympathy. They tried reason. They tried promises. They promised that if they truly thought of doing what they were doing, they would all die, but in vain.

Having made their choice strongly however, they four children refused to budge. They refused to reconsider or take the third option and simply run off and live their lives.

So they died.

They had to.

Even though the children fell so easily, it was painful. Even though they were just a few clicks on a menu that took all of an hour to put together, it hurt. Staring at four unmoving corpses that you loved in an odd sense was only comparable to killing one's own child. These four knew nothing of children though. They were children themselves, truly. They just didn't look the part any longer. That's what SBURB did after all. It let one's body keep track of how long they had left. Right now, they had a while. They could do things. But if they didn't get back to work now, they would wither away and both their planet, their creations, and their chance at finally claiming their prize would would all die with a whimper.

The four stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity. They soon turned to their leader.

"We just have to try again." He said in a whisper. "We can just...learn from this."

More silence followed.

"What about the other way we could do it?" One of the gods suggested. She had taken a seat on the floor. Her rifle was kicked into a corner. She couldn't stand looking at it after what it helped do. She didn't sound as excited as she used to.

"I...I just don't think it's the best option." The leader said grabbing his forehead. He wondered if gods were supposed to sweat this much. It didn't seem very godly.

"So what?" Another of the gods cut in. "You want to do this again? You want them to have a choice? Your way...your way caused _this._ " He threw his hand to the bodies which now looked just like little sleepy children, tuckered out after a long day. "It's my turn for this, dammit. I say we just make them like tools, cause that's all they are. They're tools for us." He swallowed hard. What he had just said stung his throat not because of how ugly it was, but because of how horribly true it was. "We make them strong, they do it, we're done. We forget about it."

The four looked at each other. Then they all looked to the leader again.

"No. That won't make us _prove_ anything to this game. It'll pull some trick or something...I...I just know!" He was wavering. He had no front to put up now. They were all talking as equals. Children.

"Then count me the fuck out." The other male said throwing his blade to the ground. "Use one of my drafts or something for a kid. I'm not going near that fucking machine ever again."

The god who had remained silent since the ordeal spoke up. "Please, no. This isn't the time for such childish arguments. Both of your ways are just as valid, but..."

"But what? That he's the leader? I don't care. I'm out of it. I'm giving you my life force for this, but so help me, if I see any of your freaky puppets, I'll take em out. I want nothing to do with you." He then left. 

They didn't behave as much like friends as they used to. Fights like this happened more and more. They still cared the world for each other, but everything was a source of stress these days. The leader mused to himself sarcastically that he wondered if being a god was supposed to be this hard. He then kicked himself for such a comment. He shouldn't be joking with himself, especially with what he did and what he had to do next.

"We'll use his draft." The leader said. "We'll refresh everything. We'll give them lives. Friendship. That's the stuff they need to truly get strong. I know what he suggested, but just making super strong slaying machines won't give them that _extra push_ they need to-" He was cut off.

"You don't need to explain it." The god said adjusting her glasses. "We'll just do it and hope for the best. Are we going to do what we did last time though? I mean with where they live?"

"I wanted to try something else. And trust me, I know it'll make this scene a lot harder the second time around, but you have to trust me. It'll....it'll be for the best, ok?" He tried to smile. It was the same goofy ear to ear one he used to do, back when things involved palling around, killing imps in funny hats, and fighting a big scary king, like in the games.

The smile warmed the two. They nodded.

"Then let's get to work. For the last time. Remember though, after this Creation, the toll is probably going to put us near the edge. We've got to go all in. We've got to risk our bodies. We just have to keep our goal in mind, alright?"

The other two nodded.

 

They played god for the final time and it began once again.


	2. Casey does not like Bill Cosby and his public policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday and once again, the mayor has warned all citizens to stay inside due to imps and other terrible monsters being on the rise. One kid really wants to play baseball with his salamander friends, so he makes it a plan to tell the Mayor what's what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally meet the first of a group of four. If I'm doing my job right, a lot of things should seem both familiar and very out of place. Unless I'm just being super obvious by mistake, there should be a major tie-in to the first chapter that's already very, very apparent.

 

By this point in time, he was picking dead skin off of his toes for amusement. He had a small pile on the carpet now and he would be damned if he couldn't make a small mountain of the stuff before he had to pick it up. Grandpa was a nice guy, sure, and he understood this was a better alternative to bouncing the baseball off the wall and catching it for hours on end, but no one liked the idea of dead skin on the floor.

Things had been hard as of late. The entire town was on a strict curfew and the only people allowed outside were the adults, and even then they could only grab the necessities before running back home. It was the monsters. There had always been a few imps near the forest, that was a given wherever you lived in the world, but they had grown adventurous as of late. There had been break-ins and reports of even more serious threats popping up like ogres. It was kind of scary at first, but now it was just a pain.

Seven in the evening rolled around and Grandpa came downstairs to watch the news. He crept up behind the boy in front of the TV and threw his shoe at the piano. The baby grand let out a horrible twang and the kid flipped over the coffee table while swinging his bat around claiming that he was going to show any imps what a touchdown _really_ was.

"A touchdown is in football, sport." The old man said taking his place in the comfy chair. He cracked his back and wiped off his glasses. "You showed that coffee table what's what, though." He chuckled again and dug the remote out of the cushion.

The kid frowned and flipped the table back over. He plopped down in front of the television and rolled from side to side. "All you did was startle me, Gramps! I totally knew it was you and couldn't bring myself to breaking your precious geriatric kneecaps! A guy your age would crumble to dust if I was being _super serious._ " The both of them then chuckled and turned their attention to the news. It was Mayor Cosby.

"Oh hey, maybe he's going to lift the curfew or something!" The boy said rocking on his behind. "It's been _loooong_ enough."

The Mayor waved to his people from his office and adjusted his sweater vest. "Hello there _keeds_ I bet you're wondering why I'm up here with the talking and the news and the _oh ho ho ho_ you know what I mean!" He laughed loudly at his own kooky antics and put his hands behind his back. "We got monsters in town still with a raaaaar and making a mess and this reminds me of my _brother_ when we were both _keeds_ and he would say _Bill_ let's go stomp the flowers in the old lady's yard and we'd get a spankin' as old dad would come on down the line saying _keeds_ why is the yard of the lady and the flowers and the stomping-oh you know what I mean!"

The boy's grandfather was laughing and slapping his knees. He wiped a tear from his bright blue eyes and pointed to the TV. "Ha! I _do_ know what he means! Just listen to how silly his voice is! Casey! Casey! Oh my gosh! He is the best Mayor ever!" Old people loved their politicians.

Casey was a boy who played by the rules and liked the order they helped bring into things, but Cosby's vague promise to keep the curfew up clashed with his otherwise adventurous nature. He couldn't handle being cooped up and harassing his friends over the internet in order to keep himself from going stir crazy. This was cruel! Unusual!

"So _keeds_ why not listen to some _jazz music_ and grab some _Jello brand puddn' pops_ and just play on your _xmachines_ and _playboxes_ and your _wii-wees_ and let the nice old policemen with their guns and hitting sticks-you know for the _bashing_ and the _blunt for imp skull impactin'_ -aww you know what I mean! See y'all tomorrow! This is your neighbor Mayor Cosby saying goodnight! Lock your windows! Eat your pudding. And any of your grown-ups out there with a bit of ol' civic pride can come to my office volunteer to help this horrible plague! Lookit us with the unity and the..." he trailed off on another speech.

The boy's grandfather frowned. This was as painful for him as it was for the boy. "Sorry sport, maybe you can watch a good movie or something. I'm sure things will change tomorrow." He ran a hand through his thinning gray hair and shrugged. He couldn't really do a thing about it. "Maybe we can look at some of my old baseball cards and sort them ou-"

The pile of dead toe skin hit the TV and Casey stood up tugging at his neck bandanna. "No way! No way! No way! No way! I'm not going to stay in this house and just...just...." He fished for a few words but ultimately fell prey to his usual lack of eloquence. "...just do the opposite of having fun!"

"I understand. That's why, tomorrow, I'm going to go to the store." The old man said. "Perhaps spend a long time there." He raised a dark eyebrow and chuckled to himself. He always did a lot of laughing when he was trying to be sneaky. "Would be a shame if the door was unlocked..."

" _And then I'll totally go to the Mayor and demand he do something!"_ Casey said hoisting his bat into the air. He knocked over a lamp and winced as it crashed to the ground. "Sorry about that, Gramps." He adjusted the lamp and sat his bat down. "I have to ask though, the timing of you saying this is kind of really, really convenient. I was planning on running out and doing this within the next few days...are you _psychic?_ " It would be really cool if he was. Casey was very adamant in his belief that the elderly all possessed metaphysical powers and were all old sages, no ifs ands or buts.

The old man chuckled again and put a hand in his vest pocket. After a few moments of digging, he pulled out a crumbled piece of napkin and sat it on the coffee table.

 

 _step 1: break out of house. may have to deal with old man as his heart is too big. may have to put him down ( <\--joke)_

 _step 2: find monsters_

 _step 3: kill all of them with bat_

 _step 3a: use the phrase "homerun" somewhere_

 _step 4: all the other monsters are scared_

 _step 5: use new status as bane of all monsters to tell annoying pudding mayor that i am going to save the day_

 _step 6: kill more monsters_

 _step 7: the day is saved thanks to casey_

 _step 8: do NOT get grounded/die/exiled out of town in process_

 

The boy was bright, but when he didn't get out, he started to slip. Several months ago, when he was bedridden for a week, he had written an expansive escape plot where using nothing but underpants, a fork, and a wad of M80s, he would free himself to play baseball. Just like this time though, he had set his plan out in the open and was found out immediately.

"I've got to get a shoebox for these things." Casey mumbled quickly taking the napkin back. "But I mean come on, I know it's totally childish and really unrealistic, but what good does staying inside do? It just gives the little monsters more freedom to run around!"

"I know, I know." The old man said checking his wristwatch. "I trust you kiddo, I truly do. There comes a time in everyone's life where they find a cause, or a challenge...or one where a cause or challenge finds them...and they simply go with it. It's apart of growing up. You go in a boy, you come out a man."

Casey laughed a bit and imagined himself with full blown mutton chops. God, that would be the day.

"One question though, Grandpa!" He said snapping his fingers. "What was _your_ cause?"

The old man stood up and ruffled his grandson's hair. "Champ, I'm still fighting my cause." He then held out his hand to the boy, wanting a handshake. "But enough about me. Let's shake on something though. You promise me that if things get hard for you, you'll be smart about it. I don't be the one telling your friends on the internet that you were torn apart by imps. It might cause that one kid you know to go crazy and bring you back as a cyborg."

"I promise. Don't worry about m- _OH GEEZ!"_ The zap the joy buzzer had given him had nearly sent him flailing into the television. "Grandpa, that's dirty pool!"

"I know, I know. I'm like a horrible vampire that gathers his strength from _total saps_." The two patted each other on the back and went their separate ways.

 _Yeah old man, I hope you like your kick me sign._ Casey thought with a smug grin. As he walked into his room he paused. Sure enough, he found a sign on his back as well. It said " _nice try_ " and a winking face on it. The old man's calling card. Nothing got past him.

The boy took a moment to look at himself in the mirror. He had a big day tomorrow and for some reason, part of his mind was telling him that it was just the start of something much larger. Then again, he treated everything as if it was the start of something truly excellent.

Casey went by his last name because it was a lot better than Leeroy and was just a _baseball_ kind of name. He was always the optimist. He was a lot of good things. Everyone in the neighborhood loved him like a son or brother. Like anyone his age, he got into mischief and caused his share of problems, but he always held himself accountable for everything he had done. That's just how his Grandfather had raised him.

Grandpa was his idol, teacher, and primary source of amusement. The old man had been taking care of him from day one, whenever that was, and was truly loved by the community. He ran a store downtown that saw enough business to keep Casey clothed in the finest of frivolous neck pieces and to help pay for the countless windows he had busted out playing baseball.

Baseball was a passion for Casey. He could violently regurgitate stats, records, and all sorts of trivia at the drop of a hat and nearly shed a tear when the home team suffered even a draw. He dreamed of someday playing along side the city's team, but due to what he was, he likely would never have the chance. He was special. He had been given a Title.

Persons born with a Title stood out from the general population due to the powers they would eventually develop. No one quite understood how or why certain people were given these abilities, but they had always been revered positively. They helped run the nation and helped people with their problems. In times of crisis they would rise up and help stop whatever it was that was plaguing the world, but the last time that happened escaped even the minds of the most respectable scholars.

Among those special persons were Casey's three best (human) friends in the whole wide world. He had met with them plenty of times, but due to the distance they all lived apart, they spent a great deal of their time hanging out over Pesterchum and ~~drawing dicks in Pesterscribble~~ playing games online. As of late though, they had little time to speak with each other. The entire area had been going to crap as of late. The town where his _Bestest Take A Bullet For This Ugly Ape No Bromo Bro_ lived had been under absolute lock down and he had been spending his time making sure his mother was alright.

Part of him thought this might be something stupid like the end of times. Monsters had always menaced everyone, but as of late, they had been doing terrible things and there was even talk that far, far away, they had overrun a big city. No one believed it though. No one wanted to. Plus, if it was the end of times, he would have a super awesome Sixth Sense nosebleed, right? He was the Seer of Stars after all. That had to mean something.He didn't know _what_ yet since the only thing he ever predicted was being grounded for knocking out four windows by accident.

Still, Casey was a kid. All of this heavy talk and big plans with high stakes were a major buzzkill. He needed to explain his super awesome adventure to _someone._ Without a word he logged on to Pesterchum to see who was on. Immediately he was spammed by one of his neighbors.

\-- glubGlub [GG] began pestering abrasiveOutfielder [AO]--

GG: glubglubglubglubg

AO: Oh hey man this is a bad time

GG: glub glubglub

AO: Yeah I know Im bored too just chill out Im on it

GG: glubglubglubglubglub

AO: Oh my god just go salivate at [this ](http://gyazo.com/b86ff0413de6d8fda5d72dd4cfcf2f62.png)

GG: glub

AO: No problem bro you just need your fix

AO: Let the png soothe you until I take care of this

AO: Now Im busy go glub at someone else bye

\-- glubGlub [GG] ceased pestering abrasiveOutfielder [AO]--

 

Salamanders meant well, and his neighbor did too. Still, he had to break this to someone who wouldn't be totally taken aback by mushrooms. Luckily enough for him, someone was online.

 

 _  
_\--abrasiveOutfielder [AO]began pestering plaugedArtisan [PA]--

 

AO: Oh hey listen look I know you have horrible disease each day but I have news

PA:  oh, you have news. how quaint to imply this could even remotely compare to my own problems in importance. i suppose i should humour you and say i'm all ears, but would my lack of sincerity even go through digitally? of course not so don't let me stop you i guess do whatever you want what do you want anyway.

AO: The block of text probably means oh yes please pal tell me so anyway I will

AO: You know all the monsters that swarmed my town so we have a curfew and I cant go outside to play ball

AO: So I just message you for hours

AO: And hours

AO: And hours

AO: Into the night

AO: Im going to go find the Mayor and make him tell me where their nest is and Im going to kill them all for real

AO: Ok now your turn I want to see you digitally convey how pooped your pants are

PA:  oh wow, bravo, that sounds remarkably retarded and reckless. i even pulled out the alliteration for you because i know you won't listen to anything anyone says unless it's catchy, you owe me one.

PA:  couldn't you at least do something remotely inspiring because gods know i need it, killing monsters is so passe and now you're just part of the problem.

AO: Part of the problem

AO: No this is like elite day saving stuff

AO: Gramps even egged me on and everything

PA:  he'd egg you on to do anything. isn't it nice to have someone so supportive. but you'll just become another fanfiction statistic.

PA:   this just in: plucky pseudo-delinquent dies to something we just like to call a 'grunt.' in related news, more of the same literary trash skyrockets in ratings because some idiot got himself killed and now people can relate.

AO: Two things wrong with that like so hard

AO: Ok one Im not going to die

AO: Two youre just mad because you would sleep through the news and be late publishing your super hot me x imp x baseball death fiction

AO: I know how you function lady

PA:  that's slanderous, you know i do my best writing once i've taken all twelve of my otc meds but it's also the work you can't hold me accountable for at all. i blame the brands.

AO: Why does your matron give you the adult stuff

AO: I mean even I can throw you and my arms are like balsa wood

AO: Bless my heart

AO: Is it in bad taste to say bless my heart to myself

PA:  yes, it is. you're going to language hell.

PA:  secondly, it's because she wants me dead.

AO: Here comes a zing

AO: Ill see you there

AO: Right there with that Squall fanfiction you wrote for her birthday

PA:  this is my best 'zing' face, except that was a terrible 'zing' and didn't even apply so nice try but your zing was more like a mildly tangy laffy taffy.

PA:  and that was a masterpiece, i'm not sure what you're talking about.

PA:  she just has no taste and neither do you.

AO: Incoming zing

AO: You have no taste because your nose is always stuffed up

AO: End zing

PA:  i think the concept of zinging is more effective when you don't tell me you're about to zing.

PA:  and please don't trivialise my plight, you have no idea what an incessant headcold does to your inner muse, not to mention what The Poison does. i'm lucky i'm even coherent right now.

PA:  am i coherent?

AO: All I see is crazy keyboard mashing

AO: Lilith speak to me

AO: Have you finally given in to The Poison

AO: Oh gods no no no no no no no

AO: I was going to rate up all your terrible stories and everything

PA:  relax, i'm just using text-to-speech because i can barely open my eyes right now, i'm not surprised if i come off as loopy.

PA:  and be sure to rate them fairly, as much as i'd love to win the fandom fiction finals of 20XX i'd not like to be accused of bias.

AO: I would totally read them but

AO: But

AO: Like

AO: Ill do it later is that ok

AO: Im not really in the mood for uh what do you have up

AO: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS

PA:  don't even bother i'm just going to delete it all in the morning i'm not even fit to be a writer. tell your friends you befriended a failure and apologise on my behalf for all the pain i've caused with my god-awful prose.

AO: Awww come on

AO: Youre just like sick

AO: You have good stuff

PA:  i don't need your pity.

AO: Pity is when I just rate your stuff four stars anonymously

AO: I really mean it

AO: I would swear the lives of our other two friends on it

PA:  that's you? don't skew the polls. i may not have talent but i do have my dignity.

PA:  brb just sneezed all over the keyboard should clean that up

AO: Well Ill take it as a good luck sneeze

AO: And get better because I will commission like a million fics of my victory

AO: Ill call the first one like uh

AO: Coolguy proves Snotgirl wrong

PA:  ;lokldefgrghjbknlm;kmjnbhyfdrfgbhjknlmjnbhvgfcdx

PA:  there i think that did it and that's a stupid name feel bad.

AO: At least your keyboard is clean because when you cry your WRONG TEARS

AO: All over your WRONG FAVE

AO: It will be all wet

PA:  i'm sure you've never had to clean a keyboard in your life due to your priveledge and you couldn't possibly understand. maybe your own Wrong Tears will give you good experience.

AO: But if Im wrong

AO: Pauses are here

AO: And here

AO: I will be dead

PA:  the Wrong Tears of your Wrong Ghost, then.

PA:  also please don't joke we all know you can't die, that's why you can't go fight the monsters right.

AO: Im not going to get hit in the head by a walnut blown by some freak gust of wind this time and pass out

AO: Which leads me to two things

AO: Walnuts suck

The wind sucks

AO: Oh and by the way one last thing before you pretend to pass out for attention

PA:  why would i ever do that.

AO: Oh no reason

AO: Just heard it through the grape vine

PA:  i am actually passing out right now and not doing it for attention that would be stupid and undignified but what do you want to say.

AO: Ok unrelated from all our other stuff but

And dont think Im insane

AO: Do you feel like youre being watched lately

PA:  in a non-judgmental matronly sense, i take it?

AO: Other than your creepy witch hag lady that Gramps says to never piss off

AO: Just in general

PA:  in that case

PA:  yeah kind of. but i tend to either tune these things out or forget them when i'm no longer in a foggy state of mind until they're brought up again like now.

AO: Does it make your butt turn inside out too

AO: Im sorry I forget youre a girl I meant to say

AO: Doth this horrible thing make thine anus go insanus

PA:  thank you for making a disgusting thing rhyme thereby making it classy.

PA:  i guess. i just try to push it aside why are you asking this i figured i was being needlessly paranoid and you're a terrible enabler.

AO: I dunno I just felt it a lot lately

AO: And I only enable you because my stack of really awful jrpgs is empty

AO: And I feel bad for playing them

PA:  call it your guardian angle, maybe that'll help.

AO: I guess becuase no guardian angel I ever heard of makes my butt pucker with pansy baby fear

AO: And I guess you should sleep so Ill let you do your hardcore drugs now

PA:  clearly you've been read the wrong bedtime stories. i bring up the bedtime stories because now im passing out goodnight dont let the wandering eyes bite

AO: Goodnight I hope your matron doesnt like

AO: Blend you into witch brew

PA:  always a legitimate concern

AO: K night Jegus lady

 

\--abrasiveOutfielder [AO]began pestering plaugedArtisan [PA]--

 

Lilith was always sick with something. Casey never knew a day in the history of their friendship where she wasn't complaining about her lack of muse or how many bottles of adult strength cold medicine it took just to make her stuffy nose go away. She was a good friend though, and probably the most down to Earth person he knew, which was a sad truth regardless of how one spun it.

 

The moon came out after a while and with all of his conversations closed, Casey looked to his bed. Seeing the big baseball in the sky always made Casey tired. Sure, only poopybabies fell asleep at midnight, but he had a long day ahead. He jumped in bed and pulled up his covers and got comfortable. The moon shone through the open window and slowly helped lull him to sleep.

 

Something then got between that light and himself. The feeling of being watched crept over him.

 

A humanoid figure watched him from the neighbor's roof. It glared right his open window with large black, reflective eyes. It drew a hand to its neck and made a throat slitting motion before shaking its head and vanishing with an unreal speed.

 

Casey would swear that it was a nightmare when asked why he looked so tired, but it wasn't.

 

 

 _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art Credit: The always wonderful Kerez
> 
> Kinda odd to go from some super serious first chapter to whatever /this/ is, but it all ties in, I purrmise.
> 
> As usual, comments and feedback are appreciated especially concerning these first few chapters.


	3. ow fuck hahaha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request from the Mayor sends Casey into the outskirts of town. What he sees is familiar.

Casey sat anxiously in his seat as the bus made it's way downtown. He was the only one on board and was catching some serious glares from the driver. The Salamander driving was glubbing to himself about the kid being out of the house and he let out a few doubtful mucus bubbles upon reading the note his grandfather had written for him. Still, the kid had paid the fare and had slipped a few frivolous fungi his way, so whatever he needed must have been important.

The streets were empty and looking out the window reminded the kid more of a horror movie than anything else. It was noon, so the streets heading downtown should have been packed, but aside from the police who walked their patrols all day, not even the most disobedient of citizens were roaming about. This made Casey's chest feel tight and he squeezed his bat firmly in an attempt to push the bad thoughts out of his head. The more and more he sat in silence, the more and more he began to psyche himself out. His thoughts kept lingering towards the darkside of things.

 _What if things were worse than just a rise in imps? What if something bad is happening? What if this is like that place they talked about in the east?_

"Oh man sure is a scorcher today!" The boy yelled from the back impulsively. It sounded unnatural and only made the driver more weary.

"Glub glubglub." The driver replied. His eyes drifted to the reflection of the boy and his bat in the rear-view mirror and his mucus flap quivered. This kid was probably up to no good. 

The boy nodded and moved up a few seats. His mind was slowly drifting away from what was probably the harsh reality of it all. "Yeah, I hear ya. Kinda crazy they make you guys work still! I think I've only seen a few buses and cop cars on the road today. Talk about dedication." Casey smiled and moved up to the seat right behind the driver.

The salamander began to shake violently and a few loose bubbles popped out of his mouth as he came to a stop sign. He glubbed a few soft glubs and imagined the insane baseball kid impacting his precious skull with his demon recreation stick.

"G. G. Gl. Glubglubglub." The driver said nervously. He floored it and the entire vehicle rocked as it sped off towards City Hall.

"Oh yeah totally. I guess if you missed a day or work you would _totally_ shame your ancestors with your frivolous need for respite. I dunno how that goes though. Grandpa is cool with anything. You know who my Grandpa is. He's like--" The bus came to a screeching halt and the driver pushed Casey out before speeding off. He yelled something about a 'blonde devil with a murderstick' and begged his forefathers for mercy. 

Must have been the heat.

Luckily enough, City Hall was a few steps away. A cop stood outside with his face obscured by shadow his cap cast across his face. His black uniform and body style matched every other cop in town, but these blatant similarities never bother anyone.

"MONSTERS ARE ABOUT! ALL KIDS SHOULD HEAD HOME!" The officer of the law walked to paces to his right, turned around, walked back, and looked at Casey. "MONSTERS ARE ABOUT! ALL KIDS SHOULD HEAD HOME!" He repeated the process until the kid moved and went inside. Cops. What tools.

The interior of City Hall was very lavish with its murals of the Mayor reaching his hand out to Joe Everyman in the style of a deity extending his majesty to a pathetic mortal. The receptionist was reading a newspaper with the headline " **LOCK DOWN STILL IN EFFECT"** next to it was an advice column pertaining to weight loss. It was by K. V. who informed readers that they should "FUCK OFF" and "CLOSE THE FUCKING FOOD DOOR" among other helpful tips. He or she was truly the star of the periodical from what Casey gathered from Gramps.

As the receptionist went to put the paper up due to the door slamming, the overwhelming stench of a gym coated with decades of corpse sweat choked the room. A man in a sweaty dress shirt flipped his stringy, greasy hair back and leaned forward on the desk. His hand snapped off bits of woods, and he drew his mouth into a horrible frown. Several of his pointy teeth were missing and coupled with his cracked sunglasses and gray skin, he looked like something out of a bad movie.

Casey's butt clenched in fear. That was his natural response to things that spooked him. He swallowed hard and slowly walked up to the desk. "I. Ha. See. I was just about to see if I could talk to the Mayor, but uh. Maybe I'll come back again!" He could see the displeasure increase in the sweaty guy's features as he requested and audience.

"His excellency." The man whispered harshly. "His excellency would never waste his time with such pathetic scum." He leaned in close and snorted on the boy's shoulder and flexed. Plumes of steam were released and a horrible stench followed. " ~~Neigh~~ Nay, for you have displayed such a _lewd_...erm..." He paused. "Such a lewd....display with your arrogant trot into this hallowed building. Speak what you want of our Lord so that I may tell him what you want of him so that he may _laugh_ in a very _majestic_ and _godly_ way." He picked up the phone on his desk and held it daintily between his thumb and forefingers so that he wouldn't shatter the plastic device like brittle ice.

The Seer took a deep breath and contemplated just turning out and walking. Sure, he would be out bus fare, two hours of his time, and have to face the scorn of his friend, but maybe this guy was right. Perhaps it was silly to ask the Mayor who had a crisis on his hands if he could go sock a few imps which were probably a lot worse than he was imagining. Still, his Grandpa had believed in him...more importantly though, he would get shit on the internet for talking a big game.

"Yeah. Yes, sir. Horned sir. I wanted to ask the Mayor if he could lift the ban in my neighborhood or let me pick up some of this mess because I'm..." He thought over how he should phrase things so he wouldn't reveal his true intentions. Then genius struck. "I'm wanting to help because I'm the _total opposite_ of a kid who just wants to go outside. Truly I'm a capable warrior skilled in. Arts." He held up his bat to prove his point.

The receptionist snorted again and smiled smugly to himself. "Sir, a reckless youth who is very effeminate seeks your blessing to assist with our plague. Shall I send him away?" He laughed and awaited the command. He immediately slumped and nodded. "Yes my liege. Far be it from me to question your judgement. I'll send him in right away." He slammed the phone down and leveled half of the desk and stared the boy in his eyes. He silently pointed him towards a large red door marked COSBY and went back to reading angrily. Such filth. In his City Hall. Disgusting.

It took a blink's span of time for Casey to slide into the room thinking the sweaty man was going to change his man and squash him like a bug. He slammed the door behind him and smiled ear to ear expecting the noble and grand Mayor to offer him a seat. Instead, he was grabbed his hands and was throttled violently.

"Listen here kid, I need your help cause everyone is too scared what with there heebie-jeebies and their shakin knees and their spooky-ookies!" The Mayor was on his knees and looked a wreck. The fatherly, all knowing man on TV looked like a haggard old man who hadn't slept in weeks. "I'll pay you anything? Want to be paid in puddin' pops? My puddin' pops? Kodak film? Margarine? Margarine and canola oil so you can grease up all your pans so your pancakes and go with the slippin' and the slidin' and you flip 'em and it's yummy in the tummy and then you make the doo-doos late in the day---you know what I mean!"

This set in very quickly for Casey. The Mayor stood up and looked him in the eye and smiled. "Sir, I'd love to, but before I agree, I need to know how bad stuff is and what I can do. I mean what about the cops! You know with the--" He stopped himself. He had been afflicted with Cosby Cancer. "Why can't they do anything?"

The Mayor shrugged and shook his head violently. "Well you see Jimmy, I'm going to call you Jimmy. You see Jimmy, the good ol' boys and girls found out where all the ol' monsters are comin from and our big brainiacs with their  PHDs and MDs and NBAs and CPAs think that if we can find whatever is sendin' them into town, like some kind of leader, boss, or big dad-which reminds me of how I'm a dad. I always tell my son Theo..." He trailed off talking about his entire family and their many quirks and pointless problems. "...thing is Bobby, I'm going to call you Bobby, none of the policemen can get in. They can't even get near the cave! What with the zappin and the zoopin and all the you know what I mean."

Truly, he didn't. Right now, Casey was picturing laser beams shooting out of some cave that only shot cops. "Well, that's crazy and stuff, and I totally know what you mean because you speak perfectly English, but one thing bothers me. Why do you want me to do it?"

Cosby tugged on his mayoral sweater vest and took a seat. "Well you see _keed_ , before we locked down the town, the Officer lady and me were investigating the cave, but like I said, zappo! We couldn't get in. Sure enough though, some little buckaroo went chasin' after the ball, the ball you kick in that game, what's it called?"

"Kickball."

A gleam appeared in the Mayor's eyes as he was reminded of the proper term. "Oh kickball. Did I ever tell you about the time my neighbor kid Randy had a kickball and he kicked the ball and shoop-a-dee-zorp it broke the window of the old lady next door..." Another story followed and the Seer dozed off on his feet. 

"...anyway, the little guy chases after his ball and he's able to make it inside! The officers said children could play inside the cave, but adults couldn't so much as step inside!" The Mayor slapped Casey on the back and woke him up. "So that's where you come in! You've got to be the one to go inside. It wouldn't be right for me to pressure you into this situation, but..." He smiled slyly and motioned to a bowl filled with pudding pops. " _These could be yours."_

 _"_ Thanks for the offer, but I'd like permission to go in, nasty ice cream or not.  I wanna help but, if it's too bad, I'm not going to die over it." It crossed his mind though. Death would be rather pleasant compared to the nasally I-told-you-sos he would probably receive for a couple of months.

"Then I'll get an officer to take you down there then! You can check the spooky old hole out, and if it's too much, you can head home. How's that? You can even keep one pudding pop." His eyes then narrowed and he leaned into close to Casey's ear. The tiny tufts of air from his nostrils hit against the boy's neck like tiny fists. " _But just one pudding pop."_

 

After another brief exchange, Casey was led to a police cruiser parked outside. The officer inside informed him that "THE MAYOR SHOULDN'T GIVE YOU A BIG HEAD." and that "MONSTERS WERE AROUND." also that he should "BE CAREFUL BECAUSE MONSTERS WERE AROUND." It was an uneventful ride that led to a rather uneventful hole in the wall near the edge of town. The Seer had never been here before, but it felt very familiar to him, almost like walking around in his backyard.

He approached to small entrance to the cave and looked back towards the officer who gave him words of encouragement in the form of "MONSTERS ARE AROUND!" It was truly stirring and was enough to get the kid inside.

The cave was nearly pitch black and was utterly silent. Casey started down stone cavern and held his bat out in front of him in case anything decided to sneak up and attack him. He was regretting his action more and more with every step. He thought about turning around, but became conflicted instantly. He was _really_ scared now. The sound of howling winds bounced off the rocky walls and he swore that he had heard the annoying chatter of an imp once or twice.

 _Come on. Just say you went in for a bit and tell them you saw nothing._

He immediately retracted this.

 _Just hit the end of it. That's all you can do._

With a mule like determination, Casey took out a flashlight the kind officer had given him and turned it on. Before him was a large stone slab blocking the exit of the cave. Two parallel squiggles were carved into the center of it and they let off a faint blue glow. The slab seemed to be the source of the gust, but that was impossible since there was no way air could even get in from this side. Cautiously, he braved a step up to it and the glowing became a blinding shine. The monolith started to quake before retracting into the ground quickly. The winds quickly changed direction and blew the boy out of the newly unobstructed exit.

Casey then realized he was falling off a very, very high cliff. 

The land below was coming up fast. The land left off a dim blue glow and a black liquid flowed freely from all nooks and crannies. The sky, which for the moment, in plain view, was dim, almost like twilight. Tiny twinkles hid themselves behind dark clouds and for a moment the boy wondered why it was suddenly nighttime.  It all looked foreign and ripped right out of a fairy tale, but still, Casey felt as if he knew the place quite well.

Then he remembered he was falling and hit the ground and things went dark.

 

 _Whoops._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha ow fuck. owww
> 
> Comments and questions are appreciated as always!


	4. Ignoring falling to one's death in favor of the flu.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is Casey? This story is all about the throes of agony a plagued artist endures for her work: Big League Fanfiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back after summer and school starting. Hopefully I can actually make this story not blow /and/ update kind of often! Also wow, 1.1k views! /Why/.

Ever since last week, the storms had become torrential. It had always rained here, but this was nuts. There were scant reports of the bridge that led out of town being washed away in the river, but there was no way to verify this. Everyone had been ordered to stay inside and await ~~their eventual death~~ additional information by the Mayor.

Ever since last week Casey had remained idle online. He hadn't so much as said a peep, cracked a bad joke, or linked terrible JRPG soundtracks to a single soul. It was unlike him. Considering the last conversation Lilith had with him, it was likely that he was dead from picking a fight with monsters or was simply caught up in the dust bowl the recent windstorms in his region had been slammed by. It seemed like the whole world was ending, or at least half of it. Lilith's other two friends hadn't reported anything out of the ordinary as far as their towns went. One of them however was about to deliver some very startling news.

 

 **\-- gardenGnostic [GG ]began pestering plaugedArtisan [PA]--**

[GG]: HELLO YES GOOD EVENING IT IS ME AGAIN ARE YOU DEAD

[PA]: replace that d with an f and metaphorically and virtually speaking yeah i certainly am.

[GG]: HELLO YES GOOF EVENING IT IS ME AGAIN ARE YOU FEAF

[GG]: I CAN BE A GIANT RECTUM OF SMARM AS WELL BEHOLD

[GG]: I HAVE COME NOT FOR YOUR WELL BEING OR FOR YOUR SQUALL YAOI

[GG]: THAT WILL COME LATER

[GG]: HOWEVER RIGHT NOW I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE HEARD FROM THE MORON FRIEND OF OURS WITH THE BASEBALL BAT

[PA]: he's definitely defiant and ruthlessly rash but a moron? i daresay your puview is coloured by some experience wherein he acted like a moron and possibly got himself killed despite a certain rational-minded lady's protests that he do the opposite of that.

[PA]: (that is my answer i have no idea where he is and frankly i'm a smidge worried but don't tell anyone i said it.)

[GG]: I RESPECT YOUR WHISPERING IN THOSE MARKS I SEE THERE

[GG]: I THOUGHT YOU SCARED HIM OFF

[GG]: YOU ARE VERY SCARY JUST LIKE YOUR WITHERHAG

[PA]: ah yes i imagine i'd have trouble facing a five foot girl with consistent cold symptoms over the internet as well, it must truly be a fright

[PA]: i cannot speak for the latter but that is much more understandable

[GG]: I BRING UP YOUR WITHERHAG MATRON BECAUSE I RECEIVED MESSAGES FROM HER

[GG]: OK WELL I DID NOT

[GG]: THE PROF DID IN ALL OF HER BRAIN WISDOM

[GG]: I JUST USE HER COMPUTER BECAUSE MINE IS BOGGED DOWN BY

[GG]: LET US NOT GET INTO WHY IT IS VERY SLOW

[ | Edited 6:20:38 PM] [GG]: BUT DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAINY MOUNTAIN SHE SAID SHE WAS LEAVING FOR THERE AND THAT IF YOU WERE TO DROWN THE PROF WAS TO FISH OUt YOUR BODY AND RAISE YOU AS HER OWN

[GG]: DOES THIS MAKE US SISTERS

[GG]: PROVIDING YOU WILL DIE

[GG]: DEATH SISTERS

[GG]: MY DEAD SISTER AND ME

[GG]: CORPSESIS

[PA]: while these are all wonderful faux-horror comedy film titles i'm afraid that you severely underestimate me

[PA]: our sisterhood would only be possible in a sort of deranged purely hypothetical parellel universe where i'm sorely incompetent, as it should be. i think the boredom that has slowly taken over my brain would be enough to keep me alive and unrelated to you.

[GG]: (WHAT A BITCH)

[GG]: I WHISPERED ^^

[GG]: WITH THAT SAID

[GG]: IF YOUR HORRIBLE MATRON IS GONE WON'T HER OLD HAG BODY

[GG]: I DUNNO

[GG]: DIE

[GG]: HAGS DO NOT BELONG ON MOUNTAINS SCIENCE SAYS THIS

[GG]: DID YOU PISS HER OFF

[GG]: YOU ARE SO BAD

[GG]: HORRORDAUGHTER

[GG]: FIENDCHILD

[GG]: I WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO THE PROF

[PA]: maybe she would do it to you.

[GG]: NOPE TOO COLD THE PROF DOESN'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE SINCE IT STARTED SNOWING SHE IS TOO OLD NICE TRY

[PA]: obviously my matron is more capable then.

[PA]: (this is where i would theoretically flip my hair if we were standing side by side, which thankfully we are not)

[PA]: (because i would get you sick you see)

[GG]: (YOU ARE SO SWEET FOR NOT GIVING ME WHAT IS PROBABLY AN AUTO IMMUNE DISEASE)

[GG]: I JUST THOUGHT I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW

[GG]: THOUGH

[GG]: DO YOU EVER LEAVE YOUR ROOM

[GG]: I MEAN HOW WOULD YOU NOT ALREADY KNOW

[PA]: i'm very busy.

[GG]: NOT WORKING ON MY YAOI

[PA]: proper characterisation and justification of these.........odd circumstances to say the least take time and painstaking attention to detail, i can not just throw together elements into a beaker and let the science gods or whatever you heathens pray to do the work

[GG]: NO SQUALL WOULD DO THE WORK

[GG]: (IF I WAS THERE I WOULD WINK)

[GG]: (GET IT BECAUSE HE IS SO HOT)

[PA]: (for a moment i thought you were coming on to me, thank you for clarifying)

[GG]: (YOU TALK TOO MUCH WE WOULDN'T WORK OUT)

[GG]: (NO OFFENSE BUT34GWRHYNDJUMFKUTHDRGEF

[PA]: (its not as if you couldnt just talk over it

like so what are you doing)

[GG]: VFDJHVFDJKVFD

[GG]: VFJVFDJNVFDJKDFS

[PA]: er

[GG]: hey!!!!!

[PA]: did you smell an experiment again

[PA]: ......hello.

[GG]: slow down here! i am seeing lots of words that i don't think i should see!!!!

[PA]: are you the admin of private conversations?

[GG]: i am the nice lady being nice enough to nicely let a little girl use her computer when she broke hers to talk to her buddies.

[GG]: are you the little sick one?

[PA]: ...possibly, i said, eyes squinting

[GG]: oh well i'm sorry you're so sick :(

[GG]: but you really should check on r

[GG]: the matron lady you have! it's dangerous for us old folks to go alone.

[GG]: you live near that big tall mountain where all the rainclouds are and all the turtles live on, right?

[PA]: i wont ask just how you know where exactly i live and will assume all adults are given an arbitrary ability to attune to others' locations

the thought to follow after ''r'' had not entirely missed my thought process and in fact we

discussed the possibility shortly before and i had not realised she had already left otherwise i would not have been available for discussion at this very moment

[GG]: uh silly, all adults know everything!!!

[GG]: but you probably should bundle up and bring some sunglasses!

[GG]: spoiler.

[PA]: sunglasses, in this weather

[GG]: hehehe :B

[PA]: you are just as subtle as your ward and yet not nearly as willing to divulge information this is very frustrating as i'm sure you realise (as you are an adult)

[GG]: yeah i know, adults are all really mysterious, huh?

[GG]: but anyway, i have to go do adult stuff!!

[GG]: (squiddles won't tangle themselves!!!)

[GG]: i'll see you later! since i am so old i will pretend to not know what yaoi is and not let that really freak me out!! see ya.

[PA]: mumbles about adults and their incapacity to understand us freeminded children

[GG]: you're darn right we can't understand!!!

 

 **\-- gardenGnostic [GG ]ceased pestering plaugedArtisan [PA]--**

 

Maybe "busy" wasn't the right word. Despite all the chaos outside, Lilith hadn't left her room to check on her matron. She slowly pushed away from her computer and rubbed her eyes. She limped to her door and cracked her back. A nice walk to the living room would probably fix her perpetually sore butt.

 

Lilith was short, so a spear was the perfect thing to protect her messy red head from danger. She carried it through the house because she was always certain the matron would summon some abomination from The Pulsing Nether and it would be her job to stab it back into said Nether. The house cat was also a total monster too. A few pokes from a spear always set that horrible beast straight.

As the living yielded no matron, the girl wiped her nose with her scarf and called for her elderly caretaker. She immediately started to cough and gargled her righteous loogies like a real woman.

The entire house was empty. Matron never left. She would just send the turtles out for things if she needed them. Perhaps that conversation really did mean something and that batty old hag was trying to climb that mountain and mess around in that old temple.

"Superstition. She's lost it." Lilith mumbled putting on some rain boots. "I'm scared of all of this rain too, but I'm not the one dragging my octogenarian body to some worthless altar on a mountain. I suppose I will just have to let her hear about this when I drag her back home."

The wind picked up as soon as she stepped outside and the rain slowed a bit. The child took one look at the mountain her home was half built into and she then turned to glance at the town square down the road. Perhaps she should get the police involved. Her head was already starting to ache and by the time she got home, she would probably have the full blown flu.

Lilith shivered and looked to the mountain. It was scary, tall, and it looked cold. Even though she wouldn't have to climb it due to the age old stone steps carved into it, she doubted that she would have the stamina to make it. The turtles in blue could save her old matron from her suicidal journey in the rain. The old lady probably just wanted attention anyway. She was like that.

As the girl took a few steps in the direction of the police station, the rain became violent. The rain was so rapid that she could hardly see in front of her. She ran back towards her home and the rain ceased. She put her hand on the doorknob and the rain picked up again. She pulled it back. It nearly stopped. She put her hand back. It poured.

 _My gods, I get it. I'll go save her._

With a sigh, Lilith began to walk towards Aquarius Mountain, which housed the aptly named Temple of Aquarius. Legends used to state that the puny altar at the surface used to be a holy place for Turtles to gather and pray for rain or protection from it. Floods used to be a major problem in the olden days, but supposedly offerings made on the altar prevented them.

Trutles weren't the brightest.

In recent years, the old place was a tourist trap. People flocked from all around for a chance to rub its blessed stones for good luck even though that had nothing to do with the centuries of legends behind the purpose of the temple.

Tourists were also not the brightest.

Lilith was half way now. She felt less sick the more she climbed and actually found herself jogging at this point. The thought of being able to rub something in matron's face must have been improving her health. She made a mental note to do this more often. Maybe if she kept one upping the hag successfully, she might never have so much as a sniffle ever again!

Once she reached the summit, the rain stopped. She looked down and saw that only the area around the mountain was dry. The violent downpour was everywhere else. Things were obviously very, very screwed up.

"Matron?" Lilith asked walking towards the old pile of stones covered in runes. "Matron? I heard you might be here. Please stop this foolishness. You're very old!"

"Oh were you lookin for someone?" A male voice said with a whiny laugh. "I think you're a little fuckin late. That old piece of glubbin behind already jumped."A hooded figure, about the size of Lilith walked out from behind an old column. "Heh, you could always stay up here with me."

Lilith drew her spear and took a step back. "What do you mean she jumped you imp? What is your hand in this?" She sniffled VERY menacingly and gritted her teeth. She then sneezed and ruined her whole sense of severity.

"Oh will you hush!" A female voice in a white hood said running out from behind a pile of rubble to kick the other one square in the danger zone. "I think you're fin-ished talking for a while." She walked over to Lilith and put a hand on her shoulder. "Whale, sorry about that. He's kind of a bulge sucking moron." Lilith went to open her mouth to reply, but she was cut off. "Listen, we don't have a lot of time. Your caregiver went inside the temple! You better go get her!"

"Pardon me please. This is all kind of sudden. Who are you two? I've been here before and I am fairly certain neither of you have ever been anywhere near this temple."

"We're friends of course! We're here to help you. We're the caretakers of the temple. We've come to the surface because we live down there where all the Old Stuff is. It's our home. We're going to show you around. Time is kind of a big deal right now! Let me reef-er you to the flooding! You've got to find your matron before this whole town is underwater! The source of the storms is somewhere within!"

The redhead snorted back some snot and rubbed her forehead. "W-what?"

"Glub!!!! Gog! Hey Jerkfins, will you kelp me out here!"

The one in the dark hood stomped his foot and picked Lilith up and pushed her towards the altar. "Fuckin open up! We're coming in!"

There was a pause.

The whole mountain began to shake and the altar exploded. Apparently the Holy Words of the Gods were less than eloquent.

A large monolith arose from where the altar had once stood. It was old and covered in vines. It looked vaguely like a girl Lilith's age. A large ribbon or scarf flowed from her neck and she was posed like a ballerina. Waves were carved into the base. She appeared to be commanding them. The background where the girl rested appeared to be of rays of light. It must have been some kind of primitive god. A sigil of some sort was carved at the base. It looked like a squid but...not really? Things were happening so fast that the girl could hardly absorb any of what she was seeing.

"Monolith of the goddess, open! Show your destined the way to the Forgotten World! I think this is how it goes! So! So please open! Come on! Open! Shazamglub!"

The monolith's base gave way to a passage large enough for one to duck in.

"We are to go inside?!" Lilith sputtered. "Please tell me I've overdosed on cold medication. None of this is making any sense. Goddess? Altar? Imps in hoods?"

"We're not fuckin imps, lady." Dark Robe yelled.

"We'll explain later, just walk in!" Light Robe said pushing Dark Robe and Lilith inside. She soon joined the two inside as the passage slammed shut leaving them in total darkness.

Silence followed.

"Now what?" Lilith said panting heavily. She was close to a panic attack.

"Wait for it."

"Yeah fuckin wait for it."

"Hey be nice mister!"

"You clam up woman stop kickin me in the bulge too!"

"It was only once!"

"Shut up you do it like a million times a day you codshit!"

"Don't call me a codshit stupid!"

"Fatso!"

"Ugly!"

As Lilith was about to freak out and strangle both "caretakers" the floor dropped out form beneath them. A surge of colors and light suddenly rushed toward her as her stomach flew into her throat and she kicked her legs to no avail.

Much like her friend, she fell and hit the ground, only she did so with a splat. It was either due to her organs all popping out, or the sea of shining liquid she fell in.

The light soon became shadow as she passed out. The rain hit her.

She too was now in the Forgotten World, just like Casey.

Two more would join them.

 _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Kerez for the art and half of the log. What a great lady.
> 
> Kinda rusty, but back to work! Comments always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Final note I swear.
> 
> For a piece like this, especially since I haven't ever written a large story, especially one without a focus on toilet humor, I would love some tips, comments and suggestions if you can spare them.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
